


Caffeine

by Zaphrina



Series: Humans Are Space Orcs [7]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Percy Jackson Fusion, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Humans Are Weird, Humans are space orcs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaphrina/pseuds/Zaphrina
Summary: Based on the Humans Are Space Orcs post on caffeine.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Series: Humans Are Space Orcs [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004796
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85
Collections: Humans Are Space Orcs





	Caffeine

Percy was aboard the Princess Andromeda for four years as the captain. His crew was dedicated to space exploration, and although they occasionally encountered aggressive species and space pirates, it was usually non-threatening.

Percy was thankful for the lack of danger, it allowed his team to let their guards down a little and bond more. Being the only human, he needed to pack bond in order to fulfill his body’s social quotas, and he found himself having a very close friend in Annabeth Chase, a Minervan who could turn invisible. He also, coincidentally, found a boyfriend in Nico di Angelo, a Plutonian who had great black wings.

So, when he was on a short mission on an uninhabited planet, he took his best friend and his boyfriend along. Usually, he’d have a tactical team come along, and probably also a medic, but this was just a plant-collecting mission.

Or, it was supposed to be.

“Get down!” Percy’s head jerked to see Annabeth turn invisible and Nico’s huge wings expand and lift him off the ground and into the sky.

Less than a moment later, Percy felt a sharp pain course through his neck and shoot down his back. 

“Shit!” He shouted, only then seeing the hostiles that were apparently blowing poison darts at them.

He felt the fast-acting effects first, as Annabeth collected their samples and Nico picked Percy up and flew him over to their ship. Heavy breathing, dry eyes causing him to blink faster, and jittery shaking hands.

“Get Doctor Solace!” Annabeth called out as Nico touched down inside and held onto Percy’s arm, as if to hold him up.

“Percy’s been hit with a poison dart!” Nico expanded, though Percy was too busy feeling suddenly very motivated.

“Woo!” he shouted and punched the air. “That was like a shot of espresso straight to the bloodstream!” He laughed joyously, though his comrades were still fretting. Soon, Will Solace, their resident medic, had taken a quick blood sample and Annabeth and Nico (among others) were panicking as he tried to find out what had been shot into Percy’s system so that he could find an antidote.

“I’m afraid there’s no antidote for this,” were the first words that escaped Will’s mouth, and the reaction from his teammates was immediate.

“No no guys I feel EXCELLENT!” He finished way louder than he intended, but who cared? His blood was singing! His feet were ready to dance! He was ready to solve a million math problems! 

“What’s wrong with him? He seems more… Percy-ish than usual,” Nico was wary of Percy’s reaction, and kept a hand at the small of his back throughout the entire ordeal.

“Caffeine is highly poisonous to most intergalactic species, and most species on Earth,” WIll was biting his lip.

“Oh no, oh goodness,” Annabeth was pacing.

“Wait wait wait, you’re telling me they shot me up with caffeine?” Percy paused in his buzzing to take this in? “That’s why I feel this way! I haven’t had coffee in two years, a shot of caffeine to my bloodstream would obviously give me jitters and energy,” he explained, smiling brightly. At the confused and concerned looks he received, he continued. “Humans drink caffeine to give us energy. It’s widely drunk in coffee and tea as it is naturally abundant on Earth.”

“You… You’re not being poisoned?” Annabeth asked warily.

“Your species  _ willingly drinks poison? _ ” Will exclaimed.

“Wait until I tell you about alcohol, my friend,” Percy chuckled as he wandered off to go use his newfound energy productively. Maybe he would do paperwork, or fill out his medical forms, or analyze their samples.

_ Nah, _ he thought.  _ I think I’d like to dance a little. _

And as the crew watches Percy dance down the hall to his quarters, they wondered if he really had been poisoned.


End file.
